“Pay Attention! I’ve Got Something Important To say.” Things my refrigerator taught me about adversity.
It’s humbling to think that a bit of paper and ink affixed to a strip of magnetic tape could be so wise when it comes to confronting adversity. In my house, that’s exactly how I would describe our refrigerator magnets.
When I head to the kitchen for a salad (ahem… or a piece of cake), it’s not just an opportunity to satiate hunger pains or sugar cravings. It’s a journey into the soul.
Our kitchen is a place of profound learning.
“Life is short. Eat dessert first!” ~ Jacques Torres
I take this advice both literally and figuratively. If I’m ever in fear of filling up on dinner, leaving little to no room for dessert, I eat the slice of cake first. It’s all fine and dandy to hold myself accountable to eat my peas before I “earn” my ice cream, but let’s be honest. I’m my own parent now and when I want to eat cake for dinner, I will.
As another great quote reminds us, “Life’s too short to be taken seriously.” There’s all together too much adversity these days. It’s worth adding some whimsy and some “rule breaking” every once in a while so we don’t forget how to laugh… at ourselves and the folly’s that befall all humans.
Health and well being are integral parts of living a good life, but there’s also a lot to be said about finding some balance. It’s not about doing the “right” thing all the time. It’s about accepting that we’re human and we are fallible… and that’s okay! So we have cake for dinner on occasion. What’s the big deal? I won’t tell your dentist, if you don’t tell mine.
“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” ~ Unknown
I was sitting in an office at the bank, filling out papers that gave me to access my father’s accounts. We’d recently moved back to care for him and it had been a rough reentry. Not only was I reverting to my childhood habits, I was struggling to see the value in my presence at all.
In relaying my sentiment to the unsuspecting woman from across the desk, she smiled and said, “I have something that I think you should have.” She walked over to her file cabinet and peeled off a magnet and handed it to me. On it were the words, “To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.”
She continued to say that she knew that the magnet was meant for someone else but she didn’t know who until I walked in. Sometimes when faced with adversity, we can’t see about ourselves, what others see plain as day. When we find those people in our lives who can hold up a mirror when we feel astray, we know that we’re being looked after.
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things an still be calm in your heart.” ~ Unknown
In moments of duress, it’s worth noting that the training ground for inner peace is at the very intersection of discomfort and dis-ease. To see the challenges in my life as disturbing my inner peace, feels like a valid complaint. But really it’s proof of my limited understanding of inner peace.
It’s not particularly noteworthy when we can find a sense of calm amid calm conditions. It’s when we can maintain our footing amid the storms of life that we can truly claim that we’ve arrived at some level of mastery.
I’m still very much a work in progress and will continue to be for the rest of my life. But I see it as a good starting point to recognize that adversity is an essential part of the process. It’s not an obstacle to be removed. It’s the training ground for lasting peace.
“You can’t make footprints in the sands of time if you’re sitting on your butt. And who wants to make butt prints in the sands of time?” ~ Bob Moawad
It’s ironic that this magnet graced my father’s fridge. He spent most of his adult life in a wheelchair. But if there was anyone in my life who left more footprints than butt prints in the sands of time, it was him.
It wasn’t his accolades or his awards that impressed me most, not even the one given to him by the President of the United States. It was his ability to listen deeply and validate the experiences of others.
My father’s ability to see someone for who they really were, and appreciate the goodness within them, was the product of enduring adversity and recognizing that humbleness and compassion were the most vital of life skills.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~ Winston Churchill
There have been a handful of years throughout my life when this phrase has gotten me through things that I thought would break me. It’s not always appropriate to be reminded that, “this too shall pass,” or to “look for the silver lining.”
Sometimes, when facing our biggest challenges, what we need to hear is that things really suck at the moment and that they’ll keep sucking for a while. We need acknowledgement of our struggle, while also hearing that we’re strong enough to make it through.
Maybe we are trying to save something we love. Or we’re struggling to let it go. In any case, these are the moments in life when we have to put our heads down and push through, trusting that even if we can’t see how, we will get through.
?
I like to think that I’ve had some experiences that have provided me with some sort of knowledge about how to live this life. But with each passing year, I feel less and less assured about more and more things. It’s only when I turn to my refrigerator door that I remember those salient truths that often come in the most humble of packages.
Perhaps that’s true wisdom. Not the absence of questions, or the gluttony of answers, but the willingness to accept that there will always be more questions. To recognize that nothing is finite and that everything is evolving, including ourselves. And that’s okay.
Life’s messy! But it’s also delicious. So why have some cake! Subscribe to my newsletter, “A Peace Of Cake,” and discover how the messy parts of life can end up being the parts we cherish the most.
Until next time, be well. ~ Anon
