My Resolution to Forego Resolutions This New Years

“Life unfolds how it does. More often than not, it’s our acceptance that determines how we experience it. Not our wins and successes. Not our ability to see the silver lining, but in our acceptance and appreciation for what is.”

~ This is an excerpt from the most recent Food For Thought newsletter. Subscribe here to gain access.

As a young adult, I enjoyed the tradition of creating New Year’s resolutions. I’d write three to five solid resolutions onto a slip of paper and ceremonially burn them on New Year’s Eve. Somehow I was sure that smoke would circle the house and guarantee my ultimate success.

Still, with this iron-clad system in place, it was usually only February when my resolutions resembled the forgotten socks behind the dryer. Some time in mid-March, I’d remember again and kick myself for falling off the wagon, often without even realizing it, and by June, I’d be ready to re-invest… in a whole new set of “New Year’s resolutions.”

In hindsight, the kinds of New Year’s resolutions I used to set were not so great at inspiring me into action. They were more like sadistic torture plans. Not only that, but my feast and famine approach to accomplishing those “resolutions” often left me feeling demoralized and exhausted.

A few years back, daunted by the prospect of setting more un-actualized resolutions at the expense of my mental health, I decided to choose a word instead. It would act more like a theme, a mantra to help me focus my attention for the year and allow me some flexibility and grace that previous attempts had lacked.

To this day, the idea of a word or intention resonates with me, and it supports my desire to add some grace into my life, especially in these past few years, am I right? But even this subtle proclamation feels stifling at the moment. Maybe it’s because uncertainty still looms large in the world, or perhaps it’s because I’ve pulled my life so tight around me. Regardless, I’m ready to take cues from my 2021 intentions.

2022 will not be the year that my intentions are left to languish. I won’t be entertaining the tension between action towards a goal and managing virtual learning and lock-downs because I’m choosing to forego all of it.

No intention. No word or theme, and no goals or aspirations. Nothing. Not because I intend to sit around in my pajamas all year, eating brownies and binge-watching Netflix (though that does sound sort of appealing at the moment). But because I’m done planning and anticipating. No more setting expectations and goals at the expense of being present and content.

Don’t hear me wrong. I’m not giving up or giving in. I’m not insinuating defeat. I’m simply tired of trying to “improve” upon what already exists. Because with all its flaws and pains, injustices, and heartache, reality unaltered is pretty incredible. Despite our belief that we must employ filters and distractions to make life more palatable, life offers us more than enough.

I’m ready to begin accepting reality without trying to control it – to spend more time in the present and let go of my need to direct it. It’s time to release my internal demands and expectations and welcome the terrifying sensation of being untethered.

So maybe I’m a hypocrite, and acceptance is my word for 2022. Perhaps, I’ve inadvertently disproved my own argument by writing this down on paper. Or perhaps it has less to do with choosing an intention or not and more to do with allowing life to unfold how it does, free from judgment and expectation.

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