On Hermit Crabs & Accepting Change
Growth is life-threatening for a hermit crab. It must be vigilant as it slips its soft, unprotected body out of its too-tight shell and into a more spacious one. Depending upon how those few seconds of vulnerability go, his or her life will move forward undisturbed… or not. And while emotional, spiritual, or intellectual growth might not be quite as dramatic for us humans, there is still a sense of looming threat.
Whether we care to admit it or not, we humans are suspicious of change. Even when uncomfortable, the status quo is preferred to the unknown. Why else would it take us ages to make changes we know should have happened long ago? Typically, the discomfort we experience in the known must become more unbearable than the idea of the unknown before we’re willing to take action.
“”Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
— Buddha
But sometimes, okay, often, change is thrust upon us with little prompting, and we are tasked with figuring out how to respond. This is where a true sense of threat can arise, and it’s there where I’m comforted by the hermit crab. Like an outgrown shoe or sweater, change is a natural process, and the hermit crab teaches us that we don’t need to fear what we know is inevitable.
The hermit crab doesn’t question whether the shell is too tight. It’s not concerned about hoarding its past shells for sentimental reasons. Nor is it interested in living in denial, cramped in its tiny shell. The transition from shell to shell is simply built into its routine, and discomfort is part of the package. Instead of trying to outrun, prevent or ignore this aspect of change, the hermit crab plunges in and hopes for the best.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
— Maya Angelou
I currently stand on the precipice of change – self-inflicted change, I’ll admit – but change all the same. And while I know the what and the why, the how is still hazy. Like the hermit crab, my family and I have outgrown our proverbial shell, and the looming transition is necessary. But as is the case for all living things, the future is unpredictable and uncertain. In some ways, this is exhilarating, and in many other ways, it’s uncomfortable.
So I’m trying to channel my inner hermit crab and disentangle my life from this shell with acceptance and grace. Some days this transition doesn’t feel so big. It feels almost “normal.” On other days, I’m overwhelmed by the uncertainty of it all and feel crushed by my anxiety. Those are the days I imagine the hermit crab saying, “I’ll find my new shell tomorrow.”
Change is a part of life, and it demands vulnerability. No amount of resistance or denial will eliminate this truth. But it will make our journey more uncomfortable. I guess it’s like a lot of things in life. We decide what we take from our experiences, what perspective we’ll adopt, and how deep we’re willing to go.
