And other thoughts on New Year’s Eve.
Every time I approach the New Year, I tell myself that I’m going to slow down long enough to feel prepared for the next, and every year I feel wholly unprepared anyways.
I panic, throw a bit of a tantrum, tell the universe I’m not ready, and then, the year comes anyways. Miraculously, I don’t die, the world doesn’t explode, and life seems to chug along, business as usual! It’s all rather disappointing. After all, what’s anxiety worth if not for a little drama! But I digress.
In all seriousness, a year seems to go by faster and faster. At least I’ve gotten better about the tantrums. 😜 It’s not so much that I don’t like growing older (I’m like a fine wine after all). It’s that I don’t feel ready! I’ve been trying to get all my ducks in a row for a good 40+ years now, but they’re rather reluctant to stay in line.
So I’ve sort of given up altogether. I’m not sure about you, but the ducks in my pond go wherever they damn please and I’ve made my peace with that.
Some of them are rather lazy and enjoy sun bathing on the beach. Others are frantically collecting pond muck for the end of the world, while an entirely different group of ducks are listening to avant-garde music and making tiny pieces of art and poetry. The way I see it, ‘why mess with them’?! They’re fine!
In truth, I’m starting to think that being prepared might be over rated. As nice as it would be to anticipate all of life’s hiccups, all of the dead ends and the u-turns, it’s not possible, and trying to do so just makes me feel unhinged. Plus,it takes away the mystery and adventure that I so love. Sure, there’s a time and place to put some of our ducks in a row, but it’s also worth knowing how to manage life when those ducks stray off the path.
So if you’re anything like me, and you know that feeling of “not ready yet!” all too well, maybe give yourself some grace this New Year’s, and leave your ducks alone for a while. You just might find that everyone’s happier that way… ducks and all.
