Bravery rarely looks like brawny knights atop horses, swords drawn, running into the fog of battle. Usually, it looks more like someone rather ordinary taking a single step outside their comfort zone, or relinquishing some of their control for the well being of others.
Bravery is humble. It can even be timid. It’s honest and it’s vulnerable.
Bravery, more often than not, looks more like fear than anything else. That’s because bravery has more to do with facing our fears than with not being afraid.
My eldest son and I have been re-reading the Harry Potter series together. It’s been more than a decade since I read J.K. Rowlings stories from the wizarding world, and it’s during this time of global and personal uncertainty that Harry Potter’s humble bravery caught my attention in a new way.
By all accounts, Harry Potter is a brave hero. But never once in the story did he himself feel unafraid of the challenges he faced. Never once did he try to do it all alone, and never once did he face his fears solely for his own well being.
I know he’s a made up character in a book, but there’s something to be learned from his humble bravery. It’s not about rooster crowing our accomplishments from atop a roof, or denying help so we can be the sole victor. It’s not about doing what comes easily or naturally to us so we know we won’t fail.
Bravery is about standing up to our innermost vulnerabilities, pointing a finger at them, and saying, “I may be afraid of you. But I’m not going to let that fear guide me.“
When we’re able to relinquish our need to know outcomes, or feel control, we’re acting brave. It can be challenging to trust that everything will be okay when we’re in turmoil, but that’s exactly what bravery looks like.
If we can recognize when we need support, and seek out those people who can feed our souls, we’re acting bravely. And when we can trust that any pain or suffering we go through is not in vain, but an opportunity to learn and grow, we’re showing bravery.
Every good story with a brave hero at its center – Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, every book Peter H. Reynolds has ever written – is so much more about facing our fears, knees trembling, and proceeding forward, than it is about not being afraid.
In your story, you are that brave hero.
Real life can be scarier than fiction. We can wish for the bravery of fictional heroes, or wish our situation to be different all together. We can feel jealous that it all worked out for them, or be disappointed that we cannot read the end of our stories to know definitively that it all works out. But in truth, heroes from storybooks are nothing compared to the heroes who walk among us.
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, and in real life, they’re often the most unexpected and unassuming characters of all.
They’re the kind of people who give what they can, even when they don’t have a lot. Or the exhausted parents and grandparents, who continue to reassure the children in their lives. They can be individuals who greet others with trust, having faith that people are basically good. Or they can be individuals who are batting internal demons and reaching out for help.
These are signs that heroes walk among us, and live within us, every day.
You may not be a Harry Potter or a Frodo Baggins, but you’re something much more fantastic. You’re a real-life in-the-flesh hero, facing your fears every day, and continuing on in spite of that fear.
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