The other day I was sitting at my desk thinking about oranges. You know, the fruit with that waxy orange-colored peel? Anyway, I was thinking about oranges and how they are simultaneously complex and simple, much like people. Now, before you decide I’ve lost it, hear me out!
Sometimes we can forget how much we have in common with one another.
Let’s be honest. It’s easier to notice superficial differences and make snap judgments. In fact, we’re wired for it. It happens without us thinking about it. But when we take the time to dig a little deeper, we discover how much we truly have in common.
This week, in particular, I’ve been reminded of this truth. My brother, who struggles with homelessness, mental illness, and addiction, has weighed heavy on my heart. It’s hard to know how he’s doing when our phone calls are erratic and the space between emergencies compressed.
But each time we talk, I’m amazed at how much we have in common, and not just because we’re siblings. Yeah. He sleeps under a bridge most nights while I’m in a warm bed. Yeah. He struggles to get his basic needs met while I have enough to share. Yeah. He deals with some really difficult people while I am surrounded by loved ones.
And yet, when I hear him talk, I can hear myself. I’ve felt loneliness, and I’ve felt despair. I’ve felt anger, and I’ve felt pain. His circumstances may look different, but there is also a shared experience that comes across the receiver.
I’d love to have the chance to offer him the orange that sat on my desk this week. It’d probably be the first piece of fresh fruit he’d had in months. And while I can’t offer tangible support to him from halfway around the world, I can take the lessons of my orange to heart and show him the same understanding I do this piece of fruit.
An orange is an orange, but it’s also much more. More importantly, I have more in common with it than I always recognize. Did you know that the orange has an epidermis, cells, and oil glands?
Choosing to seek out complexity in people isn’t the easy option. Yet, for all the effort it might take and the mess it may reveal, it also brings us together. No one is as superficial as an orange; at the same time, everyone is as complex as an orange.
Complexity and simplicity exist together. One does not cancel out the other; in truth, one cannot exist without the other.
We, humans, are complex. And yet we are very simple. We may have different colored skin or different definitions of home. We may suffer different inner demons or prefer different kinds of food. But we all want to be loved. We all want to feel safe. We all have hopes and dreams. And we all deserve to be treated with kindness.
I don’t know when I’ll speak to my brother again, and it could be that the last time was the last time. But each time I hang up, I make sure he knows that, above all else, for all the pain and suffering he’s been through, he’s loved, and that I see the complexity that exists within him – the struggle and joy, his strength and vulnerability, mistakes and triumphs.
Complexity brings us together. It unites us and helps us feel less alone in the world. In a way, complexity simplifies life. Because when we see the true nature of one another, we see ourselves.
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