What does it mean to have enough? The answer varies greatly depending upon who I ask. More often than not, enough is spoken about as something in the distant future, something to strive for.
When I ask for more details, the response is often vague. “I must keep this job I hate until I have more.” “I can’t commit to this relationship until I am better.” “I won’t take a vacation with my family until my bank account is sufficient.”
When enough remains undefined, it becomes a monster with an insatiable appetite for more. Without tangible parameters, it becomes a moving target. It becomes less about contentment and more about the chase.
Money is a perfect example. Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton define “enough” as $75,000 (USD) per year. With this amount, an individual can meet their basic needs. Once we’ve met our basic needs, our pursuit for happiness changes and so does our definition of enough.
Enough is a mindset. Not a number.
It would be one thing if “enough” applied strictly to our material wealth. But many of us also attach this word to our sense of self. Feelings of inadequacy can provoke us to pursue opportunities to bolster our esteem. Even when we choose healthier options, it can leave us craving more. It’s a void that can perpetuate our sense of inadequacy. Never eating healthy enough, being strong enough, feeling knowledgeable enough…
In my teens and 20s, I struggled with disordered eating. I was never skinny enough or pretty enough. Even at 22 years old and 105 pounds, I was still “ugly.” The number on the scale was never as small as I thought it should be. It wasn’t until I could accept my body for what it was that I discovered true happiness.
One person’s enough is different than the next. It’s not a predetermined destination, and that’s a good thing!
Because that means it can be whatever you want it to be!
But I caution you: Learn from my mistakes. Be mindful and pay particular attention to when your definition becomes a moving target. When our mind is dominated by the relentless pursuit of more, we are no longer in control of defining our “enough-ness.” Someone else or something else has taken over.
Your happiness isn’t waiting for you in the future and it’s not dependent upon an insatiable quest. You’ve had what it takes to be happy from the moment you arrived on this planet and will be with you until the day you die.
There’s nothing you need to do to improve yourself. You’re enough today, just like you were yesterday. Whether you have a million dollars, the perfect body, or live a simple life, is irrelevant. You are always worthy and deserving of love, especially from yourself.
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