Disappointment & Gratitude

We all feel disappointment from time to time, especially this year.

So why I thought Thanksgiving would resemble any sort of “normal,” is beyond me. With my husband sick in bed, and no contact with family back home, it’s no wonder I felt disappointed. Even our boys felt cheated.

But here again lies another opportunity for growth. Enduring disappointment and recognizing our attachment to an idyllic image of what our experiences should look like.

I’d love to blame someone. Disappointment is easier that way. And in truth I will likely have a bitter taste in my mouth for a while. I’m not proud of it. But I do own it.

None of us is immune to disappointment or immaturity. We all succumb to our baser feelings every once in a while (or often if you’re me). It’s how we can be sure we’re still human. The trick is to notice it, and then ask ourselves this question: is it more important to be right/indignant/justified/miserable, or is it more important to be kind – to ourselves and others?

Forgiveness is a trait most of us could developed further. At least I know I could. Maybe this Thanksgiving, more so than in the past, has less to do with being grateful and more to do with forgiving all that has gone poorly this year, whether it’s our own fumbles or those put upon us.

At the end of the day, I need to remember my own advice: it’s more important to be kind than right… to myself and others.

So Thanksgiving didn’t go the way I had planned. Such is life sometimes. But I have my family with me, a delicious meal in front of me, and truly fall-ish weather outside, as it spits cats and dogs (yes even here in the Arabian desert).

We can’t always control what happens in our lives, who leaves us too soon, who gets sick at inconvenient times, or even when a pandemic will hit. But we can control how much we dwell on the gap between what we wish we had and everything that we actually do have. 

Don’t make the same mistake I made today, dreaming of what could have been. Instead look at your life, messes and disasters included, and be glad for everything in front of you. Then forgive yourself and others for our failings as humans.

In truth that’s what most of this life is made of – fumbles and grace.

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