Skip to content
Living in uncertain times is, at best, uncomfortable. At its worst, it can can be earth shattering for individuals and communities. Whether it’s in response to a global crisis, or a personal loss, we can be left feeling sad, disconnected, impatient, and confused. We can struggle to find our place in things, and feel a bit lost.
But the truth is, uncertainty has always been here. The very nature of the human condition is uncertain, and ever changing.
Right now we’re struggling to make peace with these feelings. But perhaps it has less to do with making peace with those feelings, than honoring them. Maybe it’s not about trying on blind optimism that denies the very real struggles that we’re facing. Maybe it has more to do with acknowledging them, and doing our best to make sure our struggles are not in vain.
If we can choose to live as authentically as we can with those we love the most, then we can look back on our time during extreme uncertainty and know that these struggles made us stronger, more conscious, more resilient, and more focused on what’s important.
It’s not easy to find connection, peace, and calm right now, but I kind of think we need to be okay with that. We just need to allow ourselves to be sad and disappointed because, as with any grieving process, we have to go through it. It cannot be ignored or avoided.
The truth is that we need to mourn what was normal before COVID-19. There is no ‘going back to the way it used to be.’ Our world has been forever changed and regardless of whether we see that as good or bad, the truth is that something was lost.
It’s time to acknowledge that we must go through a mourning period in order to get through what we’re going through. We cannot just keep holding on until things resume business as usual. There is a new way of doing business, now and forever, and it’s going to require of us more empathy, more compassion, and more patience.
The mourning process looks different for everyone, and for each situation.
But whether it shows up through tears and long conversations over tea, or it looks like pulling away for the time being and sitting with your feelings, it’s worth honoring your process and finding your own way to grieve that feels authentic to who you are.
I’ve long used the Headspace app for guided meditations. Not as an escape, but as a training of the mind. Not as a religious practice, but as a spiritual and mindful one. And it’s helped me through grief as well.
Currently there is a series of free meditations specifically geared towards our current global crisis and it’s in their library under the category “Weathering the Storm.” And if you’re looking for more options from Andy and the Headspace team, they also have paid memberships that give you access to several meditations, for adults and children, focused on loss, anxiety, depression, and more.
For the little ones in your life, who may also be going through a mourning process, there are two picture books that our family has found to be incredibly grounding as a reminder that, while we all endure loss in life, we also experience love. They’re called, The Rabbit Listened and A Stone for Sascha. Both can be purchased on powells.com, or bookdepository.com (for free shipping on international orders).
To go through loss is never easy. It comes with conflicting feelings and deep inner work. It’s exhausting (perhaps you’ve found yourself sleeping in more often than normal) and requires more nutrients and more grace.
But as someone whose gone through mourning many times over: with the loss of my birth parents, my foster parents, my adoptive parents, friends, family members, my identity, and more, I know this to be true:
The only way through it, is through it.
Next time you’re struggling to find your place in things, or feeling a bit lost, consider the healing power of the mourning process, without losing sight of the lessons you’ve gained.
It can be as simple as saying a little prayer while you’re sitting quietly in the woods, or it can be a ceremony that honors what’s passed. And in that way, you will hold a sacred place for all those feelings and thoughts you encounter along the path towards letting go of that which once was.
Find a simple guide in my S.E.R.V. vault with five different ways to honor and acknowledge your mourning process, be it about these uncertain times in the world, or a loss you’ve personally endured. Subscribe below for instant access.
writer
